When you think of an adult toy store do you ever think about the people that are running the brand or about who’s creating the products? Buying adult toys are such an intimate experience and when you invest in them, it’s mind pleasing to know that the brand and the people responsible for creating its products have your best interest. A few months ago I had the pleasure to interview, Temmy Wallace, the adult toy store owner of Icandi. She’s the epitome of a powerhouse woman that’s making innovative moves within her respective industry. Since the debut of her brand, she has been shaking up the adult toy store industry by being one of the few women to own and create adult sex toys in a male-driven industry. Temmy Wallace is also one of the very few black women to own and operate an adult toy brand.
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The Co Report: You’re a 15-year combat veteran, a wife, a mother, and an adult toy store owner. Tell me more about yourself, your mission, and your brand?
Temmy Wallace: I started my company, Icandi, a couple of years ago and the goal was to empower women. I felt like women should be able to design toys and to use them without their partner either accepting or approving. I started doing my research and I found out that 95% percent of adult sex toy stores were owned by men even though the majority of their toys are made for women. My issue was how can you, as a guy, tell me what I want or need and what my body likes? I went into designing and figuring out what I wanted my company to convey to the world. With my engineering background, I wanted to know how I could make these products better. With my adult toy store line, I wanted to create an empowerment program with it. The empowerment program sends a message to men and women, that you should question and receive answers for things about your body or about a lifestyle that you don’t understand.
TCR: That’s amazing, and that’s one of the reasons why I started my Sex and Relationships column. We’re having sex, either pleasing yourself or having sex with someone else, but there’s a lack of education around that.
There are a lot of adult sex stores on the market, what makes Icandi stand out from the others?
TW: So, I have very sensitive skin. My skin was so sensitive to the point that my first experience using a vibrator almost ended up with me going to the emergency room. I, unknowingly, bought a vibrator that I was allergic to. Part of the reason why I started my brand was to use premium quality medical grade silicone, which is hypoallergenic. Anyone can pretty much use it, especially if your body is sensitive or if you have any type of allergy. We’re also one out of two companies and the only brand in the United States that carries products that are made from wood. Icandi is the only brand that uses wooden products from Africa. Since I’m Nigerian, we decided to use African wood from a tree that only grows from a certain part of Nigeria. Our brand is also one of the few companies in the United States with products that carry the FDA approval certification.
TCR: I know that you have more than a few best sellers. What are they and why do you think that is?
TW: The best seller in our store right now is the Nora vibrator. Also, the Evelyn is selling super heavy right now! So many people are loving it. It’s what I like to call the everyday vibrator. If you are a working woman that likes to travel and want to bring something fun with you the Evelyn is the perfect vibrator for that.
We have the Icandi aromatherapy massage candle that’s made out of 100% shea butter. I created it because I am a Black woman and I love shea butter! How could I not create shea butter into something so intimate? I took a look at my competitors and realized that they mostly use soy. Soy wax can burn extremely hot and if you’re into something kinky and wanted to use a massage candle on your partner, you would have to be very careful. Soy wax can actually burn your skin, but shea butter does not burn at a high temperature. Shea butter is also a great moisturizer for your skin.
Our two wooden toys [ the Darling Organic Wooden Butt Plug and the Ijebu Wood Massager ] have been selling way better than we thought. They’re eco-friendly, lasts a lot longer than an electronic toy, and you don’t need a toy cleaner with it since it’s non-porous. We use a dissoluble finish for all of our wooden toys; the same type of finish that’s applied to wooden baby cribs.
TCR: Were there any obstacles that you’ve faced or obstacles that you are currently facing with the promotion or with the branding of your adult toy store, Icandi?
TW: Yes! Having an adult toy store right now during this time is amazing, especially with social media, but social media is also a double-edged sword for us. We cannot market our products on Facebook because you have to be 18 years or older to view our products and currently Facebook does not have a platform where we can do that. Facebook, for a while, actually banned us from advertising anything. Also, we’re self-funded. Banks will not fund us since they don’t want to back a company that sells adult sex toys. I had to fund my company through my savings account from my salary when I was in the military.
TCR: That’s really great to hear!
I hear this term a lot, “being sexually empowered” when it comes to women, what exactly does that mean to you?
TW: Being sexually empowered means to be able to make my own decisions, to set my own boundaries, and to be able to do whatever I want with my body. I don’t want a government to tell me, because I am a female, to do this or that, but my male counterpart can do pretty much whatever he wants. Every individual should feel empowered, however, every woman should have the right to decide what they want to do with their body and when they want to do it. Including, if they decide that they want to do something and then, later on, decide that they don’t feel comfortable doing that certain thing; women should have that right also.
I have a daughter and people always ask me, “What do you think your daughter is going to think about your company?” My daughter is two years old and when she becomes of age she will have nothing to be ashamed of because it’s just a regular job. Why should I be ashamed of the industry that I’m in? Is it because I’m a female? If so, then it shouldn’t be that way.
TCR: I couldn’t agree with you anymore! A lot of times, as women, we put ourselves in a box of “This isn’t lady-like!” “He might think I’m a hoe!” Well, so what! Do what you feel and if it makes you happy then do it and if it doesn’t then don’t.
With your Empowerment Program, you have the ‘Self-love and Passion for Individuals’ and ‘Keeping the Flame Going’ classes. Tell me more about those.
TW: Those two sessions are my favorite and they’re actually very popular! I feel like every individual, especially women, don’t know how to love themselves without conforming to societies needs and wants. You have to love yourself first before someone else can love you. If you stand in front of the mirror and don’t like what you see, how do you expect someone else to? For me, growing up I was told, “You sound like a boy!” “You look like a boy!” For a while, I wasn’t comfortable without wearing wigs and weaves and not being able to show my face without wearing any makeup. Eventually, I learned to love myself and started to carry myself like I loved myself. In the past, I carried myself with how I thought people would like me and not what Temmi likes.
The second class, Keeping the flame going, is for couples. I started that session because I found myself in that situation. Being married for such a long time [10 years] I ended up losing that flame, we both ended up losing that flame. This class is for couples so that they won’t lose the flame in their relationship. Once that flame is gone, just as with anything else, you’re going to have to find a way to reignite that flame.
TCR: I agree with you there as well and I love how you touch on self-love. A lot of times when people think of self-love they think of it only being physical or sexual, but there’s a strong mental aspect to self-love.
I know you have a podcast and you give a lot of sexual education tips. Do you have any sex-ed tips or topics that you would like to speak about?
TW: Right now it’s more of lifestyle changes that I’m focusing on. I’ve had a lot of women to come up to me confused. For some women, they grow up thinking that they like guys and then later on in life they meet a person and end up liking them even though they are female. I feel like there’s a lot of confusion with our generation. It’s okay to feel that way; it’s normal. Sometimes people just need someone, like me, to walk them through and to let them know that it’s okay.
TCR: I’m glad that you offer that. I know it can be frightening and sometimes intimidating when you’re living in a world that’s full of judgment. It’s great that people have the option of having someone like you to walk them through the process.
As far as anything else relating to your business and being a mother is there anything else that you would like to add?
I think this covers pretty much everything, but please be sure to let The Co Report readers know to visit the website and social media channels.
Visit Icandi and purchase products HERE. Also, follow them on Icandi’s social media channel on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.
Comment Below and let me know what you think of the article and featured brand? What other types of articles would you like to see for the ‘Sex and Relationships’ Column?
I love this article! What an inspiring story. Women have so much to offer each other through support , networking and sharing their stories. Be a woman who lifts other women up.