I think it is safe to say at some point the majority of people haven’t been fond of their physical appearance. Maybe they felt like the “fat kid” with a face that was too round and a stomach that wasn’t flat enough. According to a 2015 survey by the British market research company, OnePulse, 900 Britons, 400 men and 500 women ages 16-34, 3 percent of women reported liking their bodies, while eight percent of men reported the same. Furthermore, the survey went on to ask where the pressure to have the perfect “beach body” came from. For the men, 29 percent of the pressure came from their romantic partners, while 16 percent came from other fit friends. Unfortunately, the women’s response were not given, but one could assume that similar answers probably rang true for the women. Flying over to the USA, the numbers for women aren’t any better when it comes to body satisfaction. According to an article by Carolyn Coker Ross, MD, of Psychcentral.com, a whopping 80 percent of women dislike their appearance and as many as 10 million suffer with eating disorders.
But what about the people who are on the “other side”?
Currently at the age of 22, I am 5 foot 6, 120 pounds, a perfectly normal weight according to the BMI calculator. I have lived on the other side of the “fat kid” scoffs for every year I’ve walked this earth. You’ve most likely heard the term “fat shaming” countless times, but did you know there’s such a thing called “skinny shaming”? Like fat shaming, skinny shaming comes complete with cringeworthy remarks. “You are sooooo tiny. What size are you?” “You’re not a real woman.” “Are you sick?” ” You’re so thin. You’re looking anorexic!” (Yes, someone has actually used this word to my face. I had just completed a particularly emotionally and mentally taxing college semester and wasn’t eating as well as I should have been.), and my favorite from Nigerians, “AH! SHOWN JEWN SHA?!” (You ARE eating right!?”) as they poke and prod at your bones wide-eyed horror, moving on to shove food in your face, forcing you to eat whether you’re hungry at that very moment or not. I go to the doctor regularly, and I have yet to had any issues. 100% healthy. Why the harassment?
Being slim, I prefer that over “thin”, has been something that has been an interesting experience as I’ve grown up as a Nigerian girl. Just like those men who felt pressure from their other halves and friends to be skinny, as I grew older I would look at my sisters, Black girlfriends, and a handful from other races, who had curvy bodies starting in middle school. “When is mine coming in?” I was left wondering, like Rudy Huxtable who resulted to faking sickness on the first day of the 6th grade, because of an undeveloped body. While I never resulted to such measures such as faking sickness or using enhancing creams, it was definitely an awkward time for me. I hated clothing that hugged my body, thinking to myself, “I look like a boy in a tight dress!” Fast forward, and there are so many more avenues and reasons that a slender Black girl like myself might feel out of place. In middle school, I didn’t have social media or watch music videos, nor did I care lot about the notoriously curvy celebrities such as Beyoncé or Jennifer Lopez. Today, you log on to Twitter or Instagram, turn on the television, and the sentiment remains: unless maybe you’re a model or a pageant queen, being a Black woman that’s naturally skinny is out.
While I would be a liar if I said that skinny comments didn’t still rub me the wrong way on occasion, everyday I put in conscious effect to just embrace all parts of myself. Whether you are big or small, at the end of the day the most important thing is your health in its totality. Smile and keep going!
Feature post Image: Blogger of Caxshe
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The beautiful lady in the photo is not overly skinny to me. She has a womanly and curvy figure. I have always wanted to be (and enjoy being) a thin and healthy black American lady. Don’t need health problems or sadness from being overweight. Never had anyone try to make me feel bad because of it. If they did, I wouldn’t have those types of folks in my life anyway.
Thank you for your comment & I am glad that you have never had any negative experiences for being slim figure. The woman pictured was only used as an example. This piece was written by one of our contributors who has had a few negative experiences from having a slender frame.
Great post! I def can relate. I’ve been around 100 pounds at a size 0-1 my entire life and I’m now in my early 30’s. As a teen growing up in the hood, being curvy was def the thing to be, esp. as a Black female and since I wasn’t, I never fit in body wise with the other curvy teens and women and I had body issues for awhile (I used to sometimes dress in 2 layers of pants to make myself look bigger and did not like being the thinnest Black girl in my group of friends) until probably sophomore year h.s. when I started filling out a bit more and not being so skinny. Then by college, I was pretty comfortable in my skin finally. And now, I LOVE my body. I’m happy to be so thin (yet shapely still) in my 30’s and wouldn’t change a thing about it (okay… maybe a cup size bigger :D)! I think now though, in the spotlight, there are way more slim Black women a la Rihanna and Black girls/women are seeing that they don’t have to look like a curvaceous Nicki Minaj or Beyonce to be deemed hot or beautiful in the Black community. Being usually the thinnest one in my group of friends and around strangers ruffle some feathers of contempt from time to time, with back-handed compliments like, “You’re so skinny!” etc. I notice also, bigger-than-me White women often give me envious looks and rarely make a comment towards my body that makes me feel bad about being skinny- unlike with other Black women.
You’re totally fake. You’re not black. Lol nice try.
There is nothing hotter than a skinny black girl!!! Damn!!!
I honestly don’t know how I ended up on this page, I am a black male almost 50. I have to honestly say that we have be deceived into thinking that slim woman aren’t beautiful. The women now in my opinion are borderline obese. Wake up ladies. For me there is nothing more beautiful than a slim sexy woman regardless of her shape. Throughout my life I have dated women of all shapes and sizes. I recall one young lady that was a model 5′ 10” very slim, small breast flat bottom, but ooh my goodness she had to be one of the most beautiful sexiest women I have had the pleasure of dating. She had an air of confidence that was so stimulating. My point ladies it is all about how you feel about yourself. Love who you are that’s the real beauty and it will show.
the girl in the pic is a tad fat, def not slim…
I agree